You see, Davina has become bitter and twisted over the years:
She has always aimed to be a Star, but time was running out for her.
In the past, she had been a sensation on screen and stage
And worked with many of the Greats.
And was a regular starlet on all the iconic Bond films. She had regularly been seen out with Roger Moore, Timothy Dalton and Daniel Craig. All in the most smartest restaurants.
But that was then, and this is now, she’s resorted to clinging onto the X Factor semi-finals, which she’ll never get through in a month of Sundays!
So I’m expecting her to demand carnal and unholy favours, amongst other things, from me. And this time it has to be a flat No. I’ve gone gay anyway!
But to the contrary, Davina would come in from Simon’s Boot Camp, and plonk herself down on the sofa. Not saying a single word.
Completely neglecting that poor (nit-ridden) Son of her’s.
Luckily, the Slaggs and Mary gave the boy love and attention. So did I sometimes (but not getting too close!)
And the trouble didn’t take too long to start – in the form of Basil de Farmer.
Especially as his wife had just shown him the door – quite literally.
And him always having the eye for Davina in the old days, it was an accident waiting to happen.
But why did they have to find each other again across a crowded room? And in front of Marjorie too?
What will happen with the star-crossed lovers? It can only be evil deeds!
Tune in same time, same channel for the next explosive installment.
Don’t touch that dial!!!