Poetry Party

Hello Poetry Lovers

I really want to share a wonderful event on Wednesday 11th January at the Solar Sisters Cafe in Guildford.

Genius poet Sharron Green held a poetry party at this great venue. From 2 till 3.30 pm, and a cake and cup of tea later, a group of us got our heads down and wrote some magical poetry. This week it was haiku and triolets.

Joined by the wonderful Dilly Orme, Andy B J Low, and Cassie Moriarty, we had a great masterclass. These are some of the wonderful examples

Senryu (haiku about love)

Love embraces all

Pierces hearts exquisitely

A pain we treasure

Sharron Green 2023

Sad Song

I met a friend in town today

I listened to the saddest song

her smile was down her eyes were grey

I met a friend in town today

she said her love had gone away

she didn’t know what she’d done wrong

I met a friend in town today

I listened to the saddest song

Trisha Broomfield 2023

Sadly, Trisha couldn’t be with us on this occasion due to poor health. We look forward to her joining us in February.

That night Sharron also guested on Radio Woking on Elaine McGinty’s show. Excellent and articulate. Well done, Sharron.

This marvellous venue also has open mic poetry once a month, thanks to Sharron. The next one is Thursday 16th February at 7 pm.

And our next wonderful poetry party is on Wednesday 8th February at 2 pm. I’ll be there! Please join us if you can.

Thank you for sharing this unique experience with me, PL’s. I’ll be back with more poetry action real soon…….

Life Skills

Hello Poetry Lovers

Welcome back to more life advice and skills. This is a very quirky piece by the lovely poet, Trisha Broomfield.

So uncomfortably true and a real joy to read. I know this will resonate with a lot of us. There is a great dishonesty in this piece that applies to us all. What we should, and what we shouldn’t…….

Do read on

Life Skills

Do follow a recipe,
then add your own ingredients


get clothes ready the night before,
change your mind in the morning


plan each evening meal,
then get a takeaway


shop for sensible shoes,
buy outrageous heels


give up biscuits,
then munch when no one’s looking.

Trisha Broomfield 2023

Wasn’t that a wonderful piece?! Thank you so much, Trisha. Please keep them coming. Thanks for tuning in, PL’s. We’ll be back with more poetry action real soon…..

Didactic Corner

Hello Poetry Lovers

Today we have a didactic poem. I love giving out instructions, even better if it can be in a poetry form. A very loose one admittedly.

Now forgive me if I have directed it more to women PL’s than men. There are still things we can all identify with, especially the first and last line.

Now, I don’t know what Dobby’s doing in that poetry wardrobe but I’m getting her out right now!

Ten Things you shouldn’t be without….

A hot cup of coffee in a nice cup

A china one with a snippy one liner on the front 

You must only brush your hair with a paddle brush 

You put on your good coat – one of your Mum’s preferably

For the warmth and security  you need 

Before your stockinged feet step inside a pair of good shoes

from a shop that would measure your feet if you asked them to. 

Put a nice scarf around your neck, despite the inevitability

that it will blow back against your face and be covered in lipstick 

Damaging the self esteem you were determined to carry with you like a favourite handbag 

Put a nice piece of jewellery round your neck and please don’t lose it 

And check that you have a notebook and pen with you for obvious reasons

And if you come home to a purring cat, you can’t go wrong 

Now I hope that advice was life-changing. Though I appreciate these are things you had all along. Now, PL’s, I’m sure you have life advice all of your own, answers on a postcard please……

Oops! Dobby’s just gone into the Poetry Basket. That can only mean trouble! Thanks for stopping by, Poetry Lovers, we’ll be back real soon……

One Night in Kentish Town

Hello Poetry Lovers

Loathe as I am to hark back to last year, I must share with you my night out at the captivating Torriano House. As the song by Murray Head goes – One Night in Kentish Town makes the hard man humble … something like that anyway.

It was a real birthday treat on Sunday 4th December to be invited by the magical Wendy Young to perform at this esteemed venue where many wonderful poets have read…

It was a joy to meet the marvellous Pauline Seawards who organises unforgettable nights like this. Pauline performed her classy poems beautifully. Her new collection This is the Band is breathtaking.

Now, I’ve made this small room look very occupied, proving that the camera actually does lie. As there were a total of 8 of us altogether. 3 people were the actual audience – ie friends of mine that I had brought with me! What a birthday party for them! Chinese takeaway next year, I promise!

I am so blessed to have such dear and loyal pals. This is Mary, Heidi, moi and Mary. What would I do without them?! I didn’t realise at the time that they would be the entire audience! Lordy! Still, a cold Sunday night in December is a very daunting prospect indeed, even for the very local. Thank you so much for your support, my lovely chums.

The real advantage of having a very small turnout is that my wonderful and talented hero Barney Ashton Bullock could take the floor with the open mic section. His unique collection Cul-De-Sacrilege! could be aired without restraint. I was so thrilled to have him there.

And speaking of heroes, it was an honour to perform alongside the fabulous Wendy Young. Performing such clever poetry such as Millie. I also loved her look – very Eartha Kitt!

I was on before Wendy, natch. And I hope I did my best. One of my pals doesn’t like swearing – oh dear………

Such a thrill and honour to be among these wonderful poets. An unforgettable evening. Also thanks to Sue who let us in early, and for her valuable support. Something you cannot buy. Thank you, Sue.

After a quite frankly, grim birthday tea for my pals – sandwich, crisps and wine on paper plates – I drove us all home, tired, cold but elated. I hope to return there one day.

Do not miss these amazing and clever collections by such talented poets….

Thanks for tuning into this memorable experience, PL’s. We’ll be back with more poetry action real soon……

Satin Secret

Hello Poetry Lovers

For this post, I could not resist Sharron Green’s exquisite piece on something I’m confident we’re all guilty of. Also illustrating lacy underwear is so so alluring and reeks of glamour.

Sharron’s poem is so clever and true, haven’t we all got a treasured yet very unused item like this?! Do read on, it’s a terrific piece. Thank you so much, Sharron

Satin Secret

I am the g-string in your drawer,
the one you haven’t worn before.


You thought I was a great idea,
but I am less than I appear.
My lacy bits are super scratchy
and there’s no bra that’s matchy-matchy.


I was a target that you set,
but you haven’t reached it yet,
and let’s be honest, it’s unlikely


that you’ll ever squeeze in me.
So why must I be the recluse?
With bloomers all in daily use?


Ok I don’t take up much room,
but I feel wasted in the gloom.


I sparkle when your eyes are drawn
to my sexy, red hot, date-night form,


and that’s why I’m destined to be
your alternative reality.

@rhymes_n_roses

Oh yes, those last two words really sum it up. Think I’ll head for my drawers (if you see what I mean) and name and shame those unused little items. Well done, Sharron. Lovely piece. Please keep them coming.

Do look at Sharron’s beautiful website for more wonderful pieces –

http://rhymesnroses.com

Now, PL’s, I’m sure you have a poetry drawer of your own containing many things. Do share them with us…

Thanks for tuning in, PL’s. We’ll be back with more poetry action real soon….

Interview

Hello Poetry Lovers

Welcome back to our studio where today our esteemed guest is the wonderful poet Alan Gregory (Rapturous Applause)

Thank you so much for coming on the show, Alan. I have to say, I adore your white suit. I expect you’re going up the disco with John Travolta later

I certainly am, Heather. So I can’t be too long. Thank you for having me on the show

Pleasure. I’d really watch out for those high stacked shoes though. Funny, I was watching Saturday Night Fever recently, how come he doesn’t get a single mark on that white suit?!

Anyway, Alan, why don’t you tell us about yourself?

I have Aspergers. Nowadays persons are spotted in junior school or early teens. I went through my whole life suffering the effects in ignorance until six years ago when my eldest daughter said, ‘You are classic Aspergers’ Eventually I was confirmed to be neurologically diverse as it is now called and I have come to view it as a strength rather than a disability. The understanding was timely as in later life, the effects become more pronounced.

Well, Alan, I would agree with you. It really is a strength. I’m so glad we are more aware of Asperger’s now.

When did poetry become part of your life?

Aged 14 there was a class assignment to write a poem. I did mine then wrote three more for others. Got in trouble for that.

I wrote loads of rhymes which I didn’t keep but when I was 22, I penned ‘Sleep, Sweet Sleep’ which is on my Instagram page now. Although you would have to go back a bit to see it. (@truculentbutamiable)

Love it, Alan. I remember doing an essay for someone in my class once and got in hot water! Not worth it, is it. So you’ve been writing quite a while.

Who are your biggest influences?

At school we studied the Victorian era poets but I focused on S. T. Coleridge. I bought a book of his work and spent many lunch breaks reading poems. After school, over the years I read all sorts including T. E. Brown, a Manx poet who wrote wonderful narrative poems about real people.

Marriage ended the research but not the writing. There were no more influencing poets but I read all Douglas Adams’ books and Terry Pratchett who motivated me to get back to writing.

Terrific writers and influences, Alan. Our creativity does always return to us, doesn’t it. Are you working on anything at the moment ?

Yes, a new Spike and Ribbit story. I also have three unfinished stories waiting to get done one of these days.

Excellent, I’m so glad we’ve come to this unique pair. For the uninitiated, Alan writes marvellous and unique pieces on the deep friendship between a hedgehog and a toad. Spike and Ribbit. A likeable pair who share life experiences such as droughts, and going on holiday. Hazards and simple pleasures. They are absolutely wonderful.

I have the absolute honour of putting their moon adventure on here.

 What do you think is your best reading?

I don’t read my own work because my glitchy brain tends to remember earlier versions and it makes me lose fluency or even as I read, I’m thinking of better ways to say things or perhaps a better word. I prefer to write and make changes until I am satisfied with it and then let others read it.

Wonderful, Alan. It’s been fantastic chatting to you and gaining such insight.

Please forgive my amateur toad and hedgehog but I’ve illustrated your very clever piece here.

Please read the following poem, Poetry Lovers, it’s excellent.

Alan Gregory is on Instagram under @truculentbutamiable. Really worth a look.

Thank you so much for coming on the show, Alan. Now, don’t keep John Travolta waiting….(audience applaud ecstatically – standing ovation)

Spike and Ribbit go to the Moon

THE MOON WAS FULL AND THE SKY WAS CLEAR

THE MOON LOOKED DOWN AND HIS FACE LOOKED BACK.

HE WANTED TO SMILE BUT OF COURSE HE CAN’T

SO HE TOOK A SELFIE, FOR HE HAD THE KNACK.

SPIKE AND RIBBIT WERE LOOKING AT THE MOON

THEY WANTED TO GIVE EXPLORATION A TRY

BUT SPIKE FELT THAT HE WAS UNABLE TO GO

‘I’M SORRY TO TELL YOU BUT HEDGEHOGS CAN’T FLY.’

‘BUT YOU DON’T NEED TO FLY’ SAID RIBBIT

THERE ARE TWO MOONS, IT’S NOT A MISTAKE.

THERE IS ONE IN THE SKY THAT YOU FLY TO

AND ONE OVER THERE IN THE LAKE’

‘WE JUST GET THE BOAT AND WE ROW THERE,

WE WILL BE THE FIRST TO EXPLORE.

THEN WE’LL CELEBRATE THERE WITH A PICNIC

BECAUSE NO-BODY DID THAT BEFORE.’

SO THEY SET OFF UPON THEIR ADVENTURE,

SPIKE ROWING, WHILE IN RIBBIT’S GRIP

HE FIRMLY HELD THE LONG BOW ROPE

TO LAND AND THEN TIE UP THE SHIP.

THEY ARRIVED AT THE MOON WITHOUT TROUBLE

RIBBIT DREW IN HIS BREATH FOR THE DASH.

SPIKE SHUT HIS EYES, BEING FEARFUL,

SO ALL THAT HE HEARD WAS A SPLASH.

WHEN HE LOOKED THE MOON WAS ALL BROKEN

AND THERE WAS NO SIGN OF RIBBIT AROUND.

THEIR TRIP HAD BECOME A DISASTER

AND POSSIBLY RIBBIT HAD DROWNED.

THEN RIBBIT CLIMBED BACK UP THE BOW ROPE

AND STOOD, CLEARLY SHOOK TO THE CORE.

‘ I THINK WE’D BETTER LEAVE QUICKLY,’ HE SAID

‘AND GET OURSELVES BACK TO THE SHORE.’

BUT REALLY THEY NEEDN’T HAVE WORRIED,

BY THE TIME THAT THEY ROWED TO THE BEACH

THE MOON HAD MENDED ITSELF ONCE AGAIN

AND IN FUTURE WOULD STAY OUT OF REACH.

SPIKE AND RIBBIT LAY ON THE GRASS

WITH THE PICNIC THEY FORTUITOUSLY BROUGHT

RIBBIT SAID, ‘THE REASON THE MOON BROKE,

IT’S MUCH THINNER THAN ANYONE THOUGHT.

THERE’S NO WAY A MAN CAN GO TO THE MOON,

THEY WILL HAVE TO ABANDON THAT PLAN.

IF THE MOON CAN’T STAND THE WEIGHT OF A TOAD,

WHAT CHANCE COULD THERE BE FOR A MAN?’

Written by A.Gregory 09/08/2018.

Thanks for tuning in, PL’s. Wasn’t Alan a wonderful guest?! We’ll be back with more poetry adventures real soon……

New Year at the Slagg’s Cafe

Happy New Year, Poetry Lovers

I have decided to celebrate this bittersweet occasion at the Slagg’s Cafe.

New Years Eve seems so limp the week after Christmas. The Christmas tree flagging and forgotten, like the solitary remains of Christmas pud. So who better to bring cheer than the Slaggs?!

Mrs Slagg has especially penned a New Year Triolet for us. Pay attention:

Another New Year

We have yet another New Years Eve

We’re busy ringing in a New Year 

Would wishing for a better one be naïve?

We have yet another New Years Eve

Mr Slagg spills drink over his sleeve!

He’s now demanding another beer. 

We have yet another New Years Eve

We’re busy ringing in a New Year 

Tarantella Slagg 2022

Top poem, Mrs Slagg. A big round of applause for that one.

Now everyone order more pizza and pie and light up, and we’ll hear Mr Slagg’s mother do her enlightened New Year piece.

A new year is akin to a young shrub 

Can I stop now and go down the pub?

Ring out the old, ring in the new

Is that enough?  I need the loo 

Mrs Slagg Senior 2022

So do I, Mrs Slagg snr. Lordy! It’s nearly 9.30 – time I was tucked up in bed. I’ll just pay the bill and….how much??!!

Happy New Year to you, PL’s. Thanks for tuning in. We’ll be back with more poetry action next year(!)

Winter Triolet

Hello Poetry Lovers

Well, the countdown has truly begun and Christmas Day is in less than a week. I have a seasonal, if cynical triolet here.

I wrote about all four seasons recently but I’ll just feature the most relevant one. There’ll be one more post before Christmas, so watch this space. Read on if you dare;

Christmas Triolet

Christmas conflicts ring loud and bright 

For numerous relatives and wives 

Anticipating at least one family fight

Christmas conflicts ring loud and bright

stingy presents from aunts so tight  

Who’ve been resentful all their lives 

Christmas conflicts ring loud and bright

For numerous relatives and wives 

H Moulson 2022

Thanks for tuning in, PL’s, and I hope you liked the piece. Eyes peeled for a Christmas Eve post……

Quality Street Poem ..

Hello Poetry Lovers

Today we feature a vital part of Yuletide – the tin of sweets, and the most superior of them all, namely Quality Street.

That tin by our sides that we tuck into while watching the King’s Christmas speech, and a crafty few before the turkey.

Hands up who can truthfully say they haven’t done such a thing! Or that they’ve even lasted before the Big Day.

Anyway, marvellous and clever poet Sharron Green aka rhymes_n_roses has summed this up so beautifully. I hope that I have sketched it justifiably.

Do read on, it’s a great poem…..

An Ode to Loads of Sweets

Quality Street are made to share,

it says so on the tin,

but in our house we race to tear

off every jewelled skin.

We start off trying to be fair

and queue up single file.

But very soon the tub looks bare

and wrappers start to pile.

Favourite fillings disappear

(for me that’s toffee fudge)

but creamy centres needn’t fear,

safe from the candy rush.

And then we share the highs and lows

that every sugar seeker knows.

@rhymes_n_roses

Wasn’t that just wonderful?! Thank you so much, Sharron. Your great poem has got us all reaching for the tin. Brilliant.

Thanks for tuning in, PL’s. We’ll be back with more Yuletide action real soon…..

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