Mrs Slagg’s Life Advice

Hello Poetry Lovers

Today we are live from The Slagg’s Cafe where Mrs Slagg will give us gals some life advice. 

Luckily, she hasn’t charged me for this – whoops! An invoice has just come through the door! Oh well, money well spent. 

Now feast on this guidance to life

The Slagg Guide to Life

First of all, get yourself a good quality coat 

Through every outing, it’ll keep you afloat

A nice pair of shoes, but don’t drive in them, my dear 

You’ll ruin them for good as you change gear 

            (Fake) pearls – not such a tragedy if the chain breaks

And they’ll give you confidence to have what it takes 

A classic regular dish – don’t say fish and chips

A solid home cooked meal should pass your lips 

A tablecloth spread out – one of your Mum’s 

Much loved material that will pick up crumbs  

A Good bra – ignore that pretty one in Primark 

Get a well fitted one from John Lewis or Marks 

Cotton knickers – the same principle applies 

Don’t get skimpy, and keep plenty of supplies 

A Good skirt – hung up there in your wardrobe  

To be treasured and worn like a luxurious robe 

Good trousers that are classic is a nice asset 

You’ll feel like a movie star on a Hollywood set 

any cardigan is a good one, if you ask me 

Cashmere or acrylic, wear it flauntingly 

But Being kind is much harder than you think 

Just keep being nice even if the company stinks 

A Good sense of humour a must-have – but don’t worry 

if they don’t laugh, they’re the ones who will be sorry 

Some profound advice from Mrs Slagg there. Take it on board.

Right, I’d better pay her before she sends Mr Slagg round!

We’ll be back with more poetry action real soon…