Heather Moulson

Slummy Mummy

Hello Poetry Lovers

As you may have noticed, I’ve dropped very subtle hints that my pamphlet Slummy Mummy is out now!

Please see a wonderful review of these child rearing capers from Sharron Green.

A review of Slummy Mummy by Heather Moulson

Just when you thought it was safe to enter the playground…

by Sharron Green

Heather Moulson has cleverly crafted a party platter of nostalgic nibbles that anyone who’s been a child will relish.

The joys of nappies, free school milk, spiteful teachers and fickle friends are intricately examined, providing an education and a relatable comparison to modern days.

Heather contrasts her childhood experiences with those of parenting this century, and we discover both how little, and how much, has changed.

The shock of adulting; parental growing pains; the torment and torpor of waiting at the school gate; are spiced up by pen portraits of the mummies of today.

That’s where the eponymous Slummy Mummy emerges (whose ‘work is never done’), and her bandmates Yummy, Eco, Scary and Average.

The pages are dripping with dry humour and keen observations. My favourites combine this with touching wistfulness – the little boy who’s ‘grime knee’d and puppy dog tailed’ but ‘when you finally fall asleep… I will miss you’.

Accompanied by Heather’s wonderful illustrations which capture the essence of her poetry, Slummy Mummy can be consumed in one delicious sitting – but you’ll definitely return for second helpings.

Thank you so much, Sharron for that fabulous review.

Well, PL’s! Why are you still sitting there?! Get out and get a copy now! Available from Amazon and Julie Slagg’s Emporium.

Body Shop

Hello Poetry Lovers

It’s that time of year again, the weather is warmer and we show parts of our body that are hidden away in winter.

Who wouldn’t be critical as our bare flesh emerges?! Wonderful poet Trisha Broomfield tells us what we’re all thinking in this very personal piece that sums this all up beautifully

Where did my body go?

Where did my body go
the one that fitted all my clothes
without that struggle or breath
in

what happened to that skin
taught and tight and snappy
not rolled over waist bands but
thin

I’ll have to donate clothes to the bin
charity cases all of them
looking good on hangers is a
sin

I like baked beans from the tin
have developed a passion for
chocolate, despite exercise I can’t
win

too lazy to try a class and spin
I’ll buy a bigger size,
develop a glow from
within.

©TB

Wasn’t that a terrific and painfully true piece?! Thank you so much, Trisha. Please keep them coming.

Thanks for tuning in, PL’s. We’ll be back with more poetry adventures real soon…

Dobby at Centerparcs

Hello Poetry Lovers

As I may have mentioned (once or twice), I recently had a holiday in Centerparcs.

Now, of course you would know that I missed Dobby terribly – even if she does cause trouble!

So I began to think what it would be like if Dobby had tagged along. Assuming it was a successful trip, this is how I think it would go….do read on.

Dobby at Centerparcs

If Dobby came to Centerparcs

She’d fool around, have such larks

For once, the tricky feline won’t be bored

With a roomy villa, bed and board

Of all the activities, they are offering

Quad biking would be her favourite thing

Then Go Ape, swinging off a tree

While I pay, sit and have a cup of tea

Now swimming, she would find repulsive

But I agree, it is not seductive

Dobby and I prefer to keep dry

Because we have bigger fish to fry

Archery, go-carting and the rest

But my cat likes her afternoon sleep best

The pampered feline dreams of fishy goods

Before she explores out in the woods

First of all, our heroine treads in fear

In case she encounters a roaming deer

But as we pack up to go home

She has connected with them on her phone!

HM 2026

Do our pets have their own WhatsApp? Give secret messages to each other! Let rip about us? I wouldn’t be surprised.

I hope you enjoyed that, PL’s. Please send in any pet on holiday adventures our way.

Thanks for tuning in, PL’s. We’ll be back with more poetry capers shortly.

Adventures of a Poet

Hello Poetry Lovers

I’ve been offline a bit here so I thought I’d update you as to what I’ve been up to.

First stop was to Nottingham where I stayed and caught up with my lovely friend Pat Iger. We go years back so there was a lot of rich ground to cover.

Talking of rich ground, I was invited to feature at Speech Therapy by the wonderful Keith Ford on 5th June. I was proud to be part of the Nottingham Poetry Festival

Although shy and daunted at first, it didn’t take me long to come out of my shell, and the audience were welcoming and receptive.

All talented poets themselves, there were genius pieces read out.

Okay, so we come back south – to Walton on Thames in fact.

We had a great Booming Lovelies gig with the U3A, as part of the Elmbridge Literature Festival. This was organised by talented poet Katie Griffiths. Thank you so much, Katie for inviting us.

Then a week at Center Parcs in Woburn with the family. I wouldn’t say it was a relaxing holiday but I enjoyed the cocktails!

And then I arrive home to this

I know! I know! Finally here…

Thanks for tuning in, PL’s. We’ll be back with more poetry adventures real soon…..

Slummy Mummy Out Now!

Yes, Poetry Lovers. It’s here at last! Get your copy now!

The Slummy Mummy Launch Party part II

Okay, Poetry Lovers, despite Dobby’s exile, the Launch Party got seriously out of hand!

And things began to get nasty…

The Police had to intervene…

The main troublemakers, including the Times Literary Editor and two thirds of The Booming Lovelies, spent the night behind bars. Protected from society

Bribing the Judge with Slummy Mummy pamphlets, all cases were dismissed. Except Dobby who was bound over to keep the peace!

Meanwhile, I get fed up with this launch business and set up a stall at Romford market

While Dobby and her pals entertain the crowd

And at the end of the day

Slummy Mummy now available on that nasty rough Amazon. To buy a copy, go to

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Slummy-Mummy-Heather-Elizabeth-Moulson/dp/B0H247TJS4

Thanks for tuning in and attending the party, PL’s. We’ll be back with more poetry action real soon…..

So, The Slummy Mummy Launch Party….

A Slummy Mummy pamphlet launch was on the cards. Forgive me for your lack of invitation, PL’s but this was a press night. Only the most elite could come through the door.

You will be invited to the Slaggs Cafe launch very soon.

Anyway, it all looked good and Dobby and I had been for a beauty session, and we were raring to go.

However, Dobby wasn’t in the best of moods on the actual day and…..

I have to tear Dobby off a strip.

But a promise from Dobby is but a pie-crust one

And she was on a roll….

However, the editor of Sparky comic called time on Dobby’s antics and took the only feasible route….

Now, would Dobby have learnt her lesson? Would I sell any books? Will this soirée get out of hand?

Stay tuned for Part II of the launch party!

How Publishing Works

Hello Poetry Lovers

Very excited to announce my poetry Pamphlet Slummy Mummy is due out on 29th May.

But first, let me explain to you how publishing actually works

I bribe – I mean, send Dobby to take my manuscript to a prestigious publishing house. And Dobby knew just the one!

In a suburb of Feltham, Dobby hammers on their door and waits patiently..

Dobby’s persistence pays off as the iconic publisher Julie Slagg personally answers her call.

Julie went back to bed but entrusted her latest YTS employee to read through Slummy Mummy – who was extremely excited about it!

Of course, these things never run smoothly and I had to step in to ensure the publishing deal was set.

And the rest, as they say, is history. Or it will be by 29th May! Amazon, a tiny family run subsidiary of Julie Slagg’s will release it then. (what takes them so long??!!).

But the real mastermind behind the Slagg empire is talented poet and mentor, Phil Porter. Thank you so much, Phil.

Phil has a fascinating new book out himself, I highly recommend it.

Here is Phil’s link https://utopianfool.co.uk. Treat yourself to a copy.

To pre-order a copy of Slummy Mummy, go to this corner shop called Amazon…

Thanks for tuning in, PL’s. Keep watching for details of the launch party at the Slagg’s Cafe (where else would it be?!).

Popsy Corner

Hello Poetry Lovers

Welcome back to Pet’s Corner.

Today, talented poet Dennis Tomlinson has written about his dog Popsy, with very detailed and clever words about her origins. The love for Popsy shows through his beautiful piece.

Do read on, it’s a great piece

The Origin of Popsy

Out to the shabby edge of Slough

we drove to see our doggy breeder.

He said to meet us in a pub –

I asked myself, Who is this bleeder?

He strode in like a local squire,

a spaniel pup in either arm.

You took a liking to the girl,

thinking the fellow meant no harm.

When you’d paid up and he had gone,

you found your cash was fifty short.

You asked the barmaid who he was.

‘He’s not from here!’ was her retort.

As we drove home we mused about

our pretty golden ‘cockerpoo’:

Her mother was a cocker, sure,

but dad a poodle? If not, who?

Your daughter Liz at once exclaimed,

‘How short her legs, how long her snout!

You must have bought a dachshund, Mum!’

We checked the creature, full of doubt.

The puppy’s size and length of face

proclaimed ‘Jack Russell terrier’.

Her coat curled like a poodle, still.

The more breeds there, the merrier!

A man met in the park said, ‘Afghan

hound lies in her history.

The hairy legs are proof.’ How strange!

Each day compounds the mystery.

Myself, I think her feathered limbs

might indicate an avian mix.

Her jaws are more reptilian.

Part-dog, part-archaeopteryx!

Dennis Tomlinson

Wasn’t that a terrific and tender piece?! A delight, Dennis. Thank you so much.

If you have any favourite pieces about your own loved pet, please put them on a postcard and send them to Dobby.

Thanks for tuning in, PL’s. We’ll be back with more poetry action real soon….

Further Adventures of the Booming Lovelies

Hello Poetry Lovers

Well, what can I say about our gig at Cranleigh Arts Festival on 12th May?! A great reading with a terrific and supportive audience. And our fourteenth BL show.

This is us, Trisha applying her beautiful lipstick, Sharron doing a soundcheck and me – er – limbering up!

Thank you to Jeremy Elson for his great organisation, and to Chris Dubois for the marvellous lighting and sound.

Also thanks to the lovely and supportive volunteers whose names I didn’t catch. Forgive me. You, and the terrific audience, all made our third appearance at Cranleigh an unforgettable one.

The following day, we set off to Weybridge to record poetry for Brooklands Radio Poetry in Motion feature, with the great presenter Brea Gosling and resident poet Lesley North.