Cat-opoly

Hello Poetry Lovers

Now, any cat lover worth their salt, knows how a cat always gets their own way – with only rare exceptions.

And clever and wonderful poet Trisha Broomfield has had the genius concept of what would unfold in a cat’s board game! (Or Bored game, depending on their mood).

This is a fantastic game, unjust for humans but ideal for our furry friends, and should be marketed immediately at John Lewis and such top notch stores. Order now for Christmas but think twice before you throw that dice!

Read these rules immediately …..

Cat-opoly The Rules

1)     A cat gets the top hat, any owner, the old boot

(both of these icons have been replaced by rubber ducks and penguins)

2)     Players must throw a six to start, except for cats who may miaow loudly for instant access.

3)     The banker is always a cat.

4)     Properties: Park Lane is already owned by an absentee landlord, who happens to be a cat. Rent applies to anyone landing here and must be paid in Dreamies, number to be negotiated.

5)     Any player may purchase Piccadilly provided they have a close relative who is a cat.

6)     Water Works is owned by a consortium of cats, all of whom only drink from the toilet.

7)     Cats’ Chest cards all fall in a cat’s favour.

8)     Cats’ Chance; cats have nine chances, unlimited access to any road and free parking.

9)     Cats may visit an owner in jail but may walk free at any time.

10)  An owner may purchase Old Kent Road and build houses, but any cat may move  in rent free.

11)   Income Tax does not apply to cats

12)    Owners may purchase Marylebone but must visit Java Whiskers Cat Café.

13)   Any fines will be paid in bites and scratches, the severity of which may be reduced on receipt of Dreamies.

14)   Payment on passing GO will be forwarded to The Cat’s Protection Racket * overseen by battle scarred tuxedo cats.

15) The winner; the winner is always a cat.

The Cat’s Protection Racket is not affiliated in any way to the charity, Cat’s Protection *

Don’t tell me. You lost, didn’t you?! How could our cats not win?!

What a great game. Thank you so much Trisha for letting me loose on my favourite subject. More please.

Thanks for playing, PL’s. We’ll be back with the next round real soon…..