Part Seven

Meanwhile, back in the kitchen, Mary’s father disapproves of his daughter’s childrearing.  Regardless of their parentage.  Their family were simple serving folk, not decadent like them “Upstairs”

However, they were his grandchildren, and he decided to talk with that high-and-mighty Paul upstairs.

 Paul, always pleased to see retired servants from his old father’s old estate, was polite but breezy:
“Nice to see you, old man.  Well, Question of Sport awaits me!”

 “Right!  That’s it!  I’m going to tell him some home truths!”

 “Oh, still here, old man?  Shall I get Mary to fix you up with a bit of cake?”
“No, Master Paul.  That won’t be necessary.”  

“You see, I am your father!”

Paul is shocked at the news:
“My God!  How?  When?”

 “Your mother was such a beautiful woman”, the old man recalled wistfully.
“And one day, I found her sobbing in the old manor house.  Your brute of a (step) father had treated her badly once again”
I tried to comfort her and the next thing I knew:

We were rolling around in mutual ecstacy!
“Oof, you’re heavy!”, I think her words were.

We avoided each other studiously for the next nine months, until one day…..

 There you were, lying in your crib, your mother flushed with labour.  I knew instantly you were my child.”

“This is our secret, old man,” she breathed, “No-one must ever know.”
I had no choice but to agree.  I didn’t mind, as I didn’t really fancy her that much anyway.  
The next day, she was dead, and you were the next in line to the country estate.  

“Oh Lordy!”, Paul exclaims, “Does that mean I’ve slept with my sister?  (Mary)”
“No, Master Paul.  Mary was the daughter I would have had, if I could”

 “Do you remember those two lesbians who ran your – hah! – Father’s farm?”
“Yes”, croaked Paul

 “Well, Mary’s mother was a beautiful gypsy girl who lived wild on the land”

 “Then, one day, she came out of the haystack having given birth to a beautiful baby…”

” After being seduced by an evil farmhand!”

“I agreed to take her in.  My heart beat wildly for her, but by then I was married.”

“However, you may remember my wife was a bit of a battleaxe, and she turned the young girl away, agreeing to keep the child (Mary)”

“So Father!”, said Mary (who had heard every word) “Where is my true Mama?”

“Here, Mary.  It is I who was that beautiful young girl who was turned out of your father’s house”

“Mrs Slag!  Who comes in to do the “Rough” (twice a week)!”, the three of them exclaimed.

“Oh.  erm…Right.”, coughs Mary’s father.

Mother and daughter embrace:
“Isn’t it wonderful, Father?  Now you are widowed, you and Mrs Slag can be reunited!”

“Er – right, erm…I’ll be off then.  ‘Bye”
And Mary’s father quickened his step….

“Father!” Paul cries after him.

Next installment: Marjorie reveals her intentions, Paul regrets his entanglement with Mary, and Lavinia is just awful

Tune in same time, same channel

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