Dietary Dedication

Hello Poetry Lovers

Most of us will recall diets through the decades. The pain and ludicrousness of it all.

I personally remember counting all those calories (under a 1,000?!) and buying those slimming biscuits.

So lovely and talented poet Trisha Broomfield has summed all this nail-biting era up with her wonderful piece below. Some of her details will make us cringe and some laugh out loud. What were we like?! 

Dietary Dedication

From Scarsdale through to Cabbage Soup

and even pills to make you poop

these diets we have tried them all

we only wanted waists so small.

We ate the Grapefruits, Pineapple too

white wine diet, only eat before 2.00.

There was apple cider, PLJ

took tooth enamel clean away.

We munched on Limmits, protein bars

wishing they were made by Mars.

Slender milkshakes, were quite nice

but didn’t put us off the vice

of eating chocolate after meals,

or buying fat soaked meal deals.

Then there was the HPD

and Boldo pills to make us pee.

No eating, smoke cigarettes instead

or spend the day and night in bed.

We tried the Sleeping Beauty diet

at least the flat we shared was quiet.

Our role models then were slim as sticks

the men they dated were all probably not

Now we brew ourselves green tea

and dream of jabbing Wegovy

still in pursuit of being thin

we should be happy in our skin.

©TB

Wasn’t that a wonderful piece?! And so true?! And painful?! Thank you so much, Trisha. Please keep them coming.

So, I’m getting straight back on that diet now!! 

Thanks for tuning in, PL’s. We’ll be back real soon……

All The World’s A Stage

Hello Poetry Lovers

I must share with you the great event of last night.

All The World’s a Stage was a production at The Hampton Hill theatre last night. Devised by the wonderful Anne Warrington and directed by Ken Mason, it was a great success. A colourful revue of poetry, prose, comedy and music. We were all proud to be a part of it.

Here is Anne in the dressing room just before we were due to go on. I am gazing at myself in the mirror as usual.

I held off demands for my own dressing room on this occasion, and enjoyed the great atmosphere in that room. Expectant and nervous but most of all, a real feeling of unity.

So, from the left, we have the star of the show, Graham Harmes. He did a magnificent job of narration and reading. Next is the enigmatic Sam Ball with his amazing puppetry and The Miller’s Tale. Then chrystal-voiced Sue Bell reading poetry, and clever Connaire reading about pantomimes. The last picture is someone ruthless in red sharing her reminiscences about amateur dramatics and Baron Bolligrew!

 I have to say, it was very unnerving looking out onto the dark auditorium. Not like the normal intimacy of poetry at all! 

Here is Heather Montford sharing her pain over the school play. Oh I remember that hurt so well!

Velvet voices from Robin Legard and Francis Abbott rang out, and then a treat from Lottie Walker and her tribute to Marie Lloyd. What a wonderful performance.

How can I not mention the beautiful music from Annie Morris and Ian Lee-Dolphin?! 

Everyone was wonderful, including Andrew Evzona (left) and Nathan Haisley

Thank you for sharing this journey with me, PL’s and to everyone who came along last night.

We’ll be back with more poetry action real soon….

Mrs Slagg’s Life Advice

Hello Poetry Lovers

Today we are live from The Slagg’s Cafe where Mrs Slagg will give us gals some life advice. 

Luckily, she hasn’t charged me for this – whoops! An invoice has just come through the door! Oh well, money well spent. 

Now feast on this guidance to life

The Slagg Guide to Life

First of all, get yourself a good quality coat 

Through every outing, it’ll keep you afloat

A nice pair of shoes, but don’t drive in them, my dear 

You’ll ruin them for good as you change gear 

            (Fake) pearls – not such a tragedy if the chain breaks

And they’ll give you confidence to have what it takes 

A classic regular dish – don’t say fish and chips

A solid home cooked meal should pass your lips 

A tablecloth spread out – one of your Mum’s 

Much loved material that will pick up crumbs  

A Good bra – ignore that pretty one in Primark 

Get a well fitted one from John Lewis or Marks 

Cotton knickers – the same principle applies 

Don’t get skimpy, and keep plenty of supplies 

A Good skirt – hung up there in your wardrobe  

To be treasured and worn like a luxurious robe 

Good trousers that are classic is a nice asset 

You’ll feel like a movie star on a Hollywood set 

any cardigan is a good one, if you ask me 

Cashmere or acrylic, wear it flauntingly 

But Being kind is much harder than you think 

Just keep being nice even if the company stinks 

A Good sense of humour a must-have – but don’t worry 

if they don’t laugh, they’re the ones who will be sorry 

Some profound advice from Mrs Slagg there. Take it on board.

Right, I’d better pay her before she sends Mr Slagg round!

We’ll be back with more poetry action real soon…

Interview with Heather Cook

Hello Poetry Lovers

Welcome back to the Talk Show studio. (Audience clap ecstatically).

Our esteemed guest today is the talented and prolific poet Heather Cook (standing ovation).

(Our guest glides elegantly down the lit staircase.) 

Welcome to the show, Heather, and thank you so much for coming.

Adore that crochet two-piece and platforms. (Audience cheer in agreement)

(Dobby snarls) – Now Dobby, what was that chat we had?! Be nice to our guest !!! Heather has cats herself, you know!

Why don’t you fill us in on your background, Heather

Thanks very much for inviting me, Heather.

I’m a south-east London girl and launched myself at the unsuspecting world clutching an A-level in English, a couple of Bob Dylan singles and a general belief that things would probably work out okay. I then did my best to sabotage things by making a fairly disastrous first marriage and moving down to the west country.

Realising the error of my ways at an early stage, I pulled myself together and returned to more familiar territory. I joined the Civil Service – not the Diplomatic Service, you’ll be amazed to hear, but Social Security, and put benefit claimants through their paces in several London offices. 

Later I worked for Social Services, but retirement is easily my favourite occupation.

Oh mine too, hands down. A very different life now…

We really learn by these past things and they make us stronger.

When did poetry become a part of your life?

I know this is a bit of a cliché, but I honestly can’t remember a time when poetry wasn’t important to me; poetry and words.

My dear old mum loved reading almost as much as she loved William Wordsworth and John Betjeman (I don’t think it progressed beyond a respectful admiration, but she was never actually put to the test!). I can remember her reading poems to me that I didn’t understand, but I could feel the music of the words and loved it.

I’m an only child and my mother and I were alone together for much of my childhood – I’m not complaining about that, because particularly in later life I’ve realised how valuable our time together was.

What lovely cherished memories, Heather. You’ve painted a very moving picture there.

Who were your biggest influences?

I knew this would happen – I’ve wandered into answering this next question in my last reply! 

I must mention my lovely English teacher who was a very positive influence on me at a time in my life when I could have slipped into all sorts of trouble. I always hated school and didn’t apply myself as I should have done until this clever woman somehow unlocked my dormant passion for words. It wasn’t quite a miracle, but it wasn’t far off.

I regularly feast now on Seamus Heaney’s wonderfully evocative poems, and those of Simon Armitage, who rather selfishly refuses to share his Poet Laureate appointment!

I am a member of the Poetry Society, but struggle with some of the poems in the Poetry Review; others are a breath of fresh air and stretch my elderly brain – in a good way. It beats trying to remember why you wandered into the kitchen!

Oh so do I. I agree with you about The Poetry Review. It’s such a beautifully presented journal too. Yes, that Armitage! Self, self, self! 

Congratulations on being a joint winner in the Frosted Fire pamphlet competition. Very impressive. (Audience cheer wholeheartedly)

Tell us how Out of the Ordinary came about

Thank you so much! I’m a bit of a competition junkie and have entered lots of single poems with mixed results. This time I decided to have a go at entering a small collection.

Reviewing my folders of poems when I was wondering which to submit, I realised that many reflected the extraordinariness of ordinary life. I am fascinated by people and by my surroundings and my inspiration comes very much from my everyday experiences. 

Since stepping down after 10 years of volunteering at a local Category C prison, I’ve had more time to write, so most of the poems in my pamphlet are recent pieces.

That’s just wonderful, Heather.

Now (sweeps everything off the desk. The audience gasp in anticipation) what is the best gig you’ve ever done? And the worst??

I’m very much a newbie in the world of poetry gigs, and I would like to put on record how exceptionally encouraging and supportive my poetry friends have been.

To anyone who thinks they might be entering a world of stand-offish, head-in-the clouds types, I would say that the reality is that you will be welcomed into a warm, amazingly talented and very welcoming community.

My best and worst gigs were one and the same! To almost quote from Rocky Horror, ‘it was a dark and stormy night’ when my husband, aka Poor Roger, ventured into the backstreets around Borough Market looking for a pub where I was due to read my poem, A Carer’s Prayer.

We got hopelessly lost and soaked to the skin before somehow stumbling into this wonderful old pub, packed with lovely people. A couple of large glasses of red wine later, I was unstoppable and had a great time!

Poor Roger, and You. I would have got lost round there too! I wished I’d been there. Yes, there is still a misconception about poetry readings. 

Heather, you’ve been a fascinating guest, thank you so much for coming on the show and congratulations again.

(thunderous applause. Security look nervous)

(Heather ascends the stairs where Battersea Billy and Stumpy Malone are waiting for the studio Robin Reliant home)

Wasn’t Heather Cook a wonderful guest? I’m looking forward to our double act! Two Heathers! Can you imagine?!

Heather will be a featured poet at The Fiery Bird, Woking on 25th January and at Poetry Performance, Teddington on Sunday 3rd March. (Message me for details).

For a real treat, order a copy of Out of the Ordinary from this link http://www.wildfirewords.com/heather-cook/

Thanks for tuning in, PL’s, and listening to another fascinating poet. We’ll be back with more poetry action real soon…

The Retired Cat

Hello Poetry Lovers 

How could I not put loads of Dobby’s on here with this wonderful poem?! 

Dear friend and wonderful poet, Trisha Broomfield gave me this lovely book Ten Poems about Cats. A real treasure and a big part of my Cat Book collection. 

There are some beautiful poems about felines in there and this one by William Cowper was particularly true and touching. You can imagine I had a field day with these illustrations. Thank you so much, Trisha.

Read on for a delight

The Retired Cat

A poet’s cat, sedate and grave

As poet well could wish to have,

Was much addicted to inquire

For nooks to which she might retire,

And where, secure as mouse in chink,

She might repose, or sit and think.

A drawer, it chanced, at the bottom lined,

With linen of the softest kind,

With such as merchants introduce

From India, for the ladies’ use;

A drawer, impending o’er the rest,

Half open in the topmost chest,

Of depth enough and none to spare,

Invited her to slumber there;

Puss with delight beyond expression,

Surveyed the scene and took possession.

William Cowper (1731 – 1800)

Wasn’t that so touching and true?! Watch this space for many other cat pieces. 

Thanks for tuning in, PL’s. We’ll be back with more poetry adventures real soon…..

Interview with Steve Tasane

Hello Poetry Lovers

Welcome back to the talk show studio for talented poets! (Frenzied cheering from the audience)

Now, settle down PL’s because we’re welcoming Steve Tasane….(Ecstatic applauseas our guest glides elegantly down the lit staircase)

Welcome to the show, Steve and thank you so much for coming along. And what a cool hat! 

Why don’t you fill us in on your background?

Pleasure, Heather. Well, we never really grow up do we? At least, we poets don’t!

I threw myself into a life of writing and political activism to try and make sense of, and make amends for, a messy childhood – one of poverty, brutality and alienation, growing up in Rishi Sunak’s Yorkshire constituency back in the 1970s, one of four boys, sons of a refugee, raised by a single mother on a council estate.

None of my brothers made it into early old age, and the drawn-out self-harming elements of their deaths was immensely hurtful to their children.

Decades ago, I’d vasectomised myself (well, a doctor did it) in part because I didn’t want to pass on the damage of our childhood to my children. Instead, I wrote poems. You can metaphorically give birth to a poem, but you can’t hurt it – no matter how hard you try.

Oh Steve, that’s devastating about your family. They make and shape us, don’t they. 

Initially, as an adult I was less creative, part of the 1980s anarchist and anti-fascist network and spent more time in cells than I did in libraries.

But I was always a poet, right from my school days when I’d write punk-inspired rants against the head teacher; and at some point I realised my skills were more appropriate to being a writer than they were to having running battles with the National Front – and more likely to be effective at creating a more positive world.

​So here I am, still a struggling poet. But I’ve had more poetic success and adventures than most individuals could hope for in one life; and my writing extended itself to children’s novels. My last, Child I, was published by Faber and translated into 11 languages, and told the tale of unaccompanied child refugees in a camp. So, my change of tactics around challenging injustice proved to be a good choice.

Gosh, what an era that was. It’s made you a strong person and brought your talent out. Your children’s novels sound fascinating

As a poet, I’m still an outsider, despite amazing residencies (Dickens Bicentennial Celebrations, Battersea Dogs’ Home, D-Day Story Museum etc) and having visited hundreds of schools, libraries and literary festivals.

Why is that? Because political poetry should tell uncomfortable truths and, if it’s successful, poetry should piss people off, as well as uplift and inspire; it should make enemies as well as create unity; give a voice to the voiceless and downtrodden. The kind of stuff that’s frowned upon by the status quo. Stuff that unnerves the careerists and bullies.

It’s fair to say that I’ve been a roaring success on my own terms – and I know that I made my long-lost family proud.

I couldn’t agree with you more. And those are impressive residencies. What an experience.

Who were your biggest influences?

When I was very little, the first poems that really engaged me were Spike Milligan’s, mainly because they were daft and simple, playing with words in Milligan’s distinct way.

But what was a deeper influence at that time – I realised much later – were The Two Ronnies, who delighted in word-trickery that was mind-boggling and utterly inventive, almost as if they were using words to perform magic tricks.

I had ambitions to be a magician and owned more than a few Magic Trick sets; but magic tricks had no narrative, they didn’t delve into people’s experience, they were all spectacle and zero narrative.

Then, punk happened, and I had my first experience of word magicians – Ian Dury, a kind of Ronnie Barker with safety pins and swear words; John Cooper Clarke, a cartoon Bob Dylan doll, who delivered rat-a-tat wit and wisdom with immediate accessibility rather than Dylan’s deliberate obscurity; Crass, horribly noisy shouty anarchists whose LP sleeves unfolded into a giant political word map that I’d consume far more greedily than any Modern Poets Collection; Atilla the Stockbroker, whose “Bollocks to That” poem on a Cherry Red records compilation gave me a vision of my future life.

This year, 2024, I’m finally booked to do a feature set at Atilla’s Glastonwick Festival (having already toured extensively with Dr Clarke). Everything poetic opened up from there – Benjamin Zephaniah, Joolz Denby, John Hegley, Adrian Mitchell – as  well as inspirational peers such as The Speech Painter, Patience Agbabi and Joelle Taylor, my poetry bandmates in the roofraising Atomic Lip, poetry’s first pop group.

The beauty of having been on the scene for so long means that my gang of peers continues to grow, present friends and influences including Mark ‘Mr T’ Thompson, Red Medusa, Isabel White and David Lee Morgan. Wonderful, all of them.

Oh The Two Ronnies were so clever, weren’t they?! And fantastic influences and names there.

I went to see Atilla the Stockbroker many times in the early ‘90s. He used to do a set with John Otway. And I see there’s a reunion going on now. Good for them. And soon you’ll be performing with Atilla (swoon!).

We’re very excited about your new collection Counter Offensive. Please tell us more…

I’ve been a busy little wordsmith, so my first poetry collection was out in 1996 and my second, Counteroffensive is out this year, 2024. I’ve been too busy doing live events, running workshops, writing novels, and frenziedly writing social commentary poetry that packs a punch one year and is out-of-date the next.

When the lovely Jason Why of London Poetry Books asked me to put together a new collection, it was an opportunity to do a sort of ‘live’ best of, unpublished poems that have been kicking up a racket on the stage, ranging from Beat Poem, written in 2000 and printed here for the first time, to Get The Vet, written in 2023 to support my niece’s training to be a vet.

It’s being launched with an open mic

celebration on Saturday 27th January, 5-7.30pm, at The Artillery Arms, Bunhill Row, London EC1. I’m also looking forward to ‘reading’ from Counteroffensive at London Poetry Books’ Multicultural Book Fair on September 14th.

Fascinating, Steve. I will be there for both. Jason is fantastic, isn’t he 

Now, what is the best gig you’ve ever done – and the worst…

You’re rarely more alive than when you’re on a stage – or the top deck of a bus, where one of my most dramatic gigs took place. This was for Apples and Snakes’ Bus Jam, in association with Transport for London.

Unfortunately the Apples’ team-member who was organising us on that particular day bought us all tickets that weren’t valid when the bus moved into the next travel zone, which was when a ticket inspector (who, obviously, hadn’t read the poetry memo) got on and tried to issue us all with fines.

One poet (nameless) wound the inspector up by taking photographs of him and when he tried to grab the poet’s camera a small scuffle broke out, which turned into a slightly larger scuffle involving ripped shirts, scratched faces and a number of combatants tumbling out of the bus and brawling on the road outside Downing Street.

My street-fighting days were long since over and I watched, amused and quite pleased by the fact that here was a fight that I had absolutely no part in.

Another tricky gig was playing the World Music Stage at Glastonbury (at that point the third largest stage of the festival). It was during one of the Mud Years and I was wearing a pink sequined T-shirt. One of the Mud People threw a mudball that was zooming straight for me. I caught it one-handed, threw it back and raised my fist in the air, all without breaking my word rhythm – or muddying my sequins. I guess that was worst and best.

Other best gigs are really any at all that I do in schools, of whatever size. Assembly gigs are great, 9am, the entire school from Year 1 to Year 6, the most volatile crowd you can get, but also the most appreciative if they like what you do. School gigs are my early Beatles Hamburg moments, where I hone my craft.

My other favourites are pub gigs where the bar staff come up to you afterwards with the words, “I’m not really a fan of poetry, but I loved your stuff.” Yes!!

Steve, I could talk to you all day. You have opened up such a fascinating world for us. And you have a wonderful year coming up. 

We so look forward to Counter Offensive, and congratulations. Very exciting.

Thank you so much for coming on the show (applause and standing ovation)

Our esteemed guest legs it back up the stairs before Dobby gets him!

Wasn’t Steve a wonderful guest?! Such incredible insight. Here are some links to Steve’s poems on YouTube. Worth a click, I’ve had the honour of hearing Get The Vet. Powerful piece.

Steve’s new collection is launched on 27th January. Click this link to order a copy…http://www.londonpoets.com/product/counteroffensive/

Thanks for tuning in, PL’s. We’ll be back with more poetry action real soon….

New Years Eve (Non) Party

Happy New Year, Poetry Lovers

Now, you must have been at our New Years Eve non-party last night. Of course, we were all masked so we wouldn’t recognise each other, but wasn’t it a wonderful bash?! 

To those of you whose invitation got lost in the post, I apologise. Top of the list for next year!!

The wonderful Trisha Broomfield, talented poet and fellow Booming Lovely was one of the tip-top guests (along with Sharron Green), and Trisha has penned a wonderful anticipatory response to this event of the year.

Read on, it’s marvellous!

The Non-Party

I’m going to a non-party
it’s invitation only


I’m wearing my best jumpsuit
I’ll order up a Pony,


that’s Bourbon and Campari
throw in bitters, orange peel,


I’ll wear my velvet jacket
and my very highest heel (s).


Heather will host the party
Sharron will be there


and other folks all arty
with flowers in their hair.


The drink will flow and music thump
we’ll have the bestest time


recite so many verses
that by midnight we’ll all mime.


So think of our non-party
as you see the New year in


we’ll be having so much fun
drinking punch with Bombay gin.


We’ll do a snake-like conga
as we all play the fool,


while you’ll be supping cocoa
in front of Later with Jool(s).

©TB

Wasn’t that a fantastic piece?! Thank you so much, Trisha. 

So now, hands up, who actually didn’t go out at all?! Yes, me too. Started as I meant to go on. Mind you, it was good on Jools Holland this year.

December Birthdays

Hello Poetry Lovers

Even though we are looking at a New Year, I thought as we’re still in December – just, I’d share my recent birthday poem penned by my lovely and talented friend, Trisha Broomfield. 

Not only is it beautifully written, it also sums me up to a tee! Great insight there, Trisha and thank you again so much. Please read on, because I think you will agree

Birthday Poem

This cold weather’s not for me 

I’m looking for me best cardi

but Dobby’s got her paws on it 

despite the fact it doesn’t fit. 

She sleeping in me best handbag

I’d better go and have a fag.

I write a lot about past times

love haibuns, triolets and eye rhymes. 

You know that Julie was a slag. 

I’d better have another fag. 

This bleep bleep housework is a bore

I’ve got to wash me kitchen floor 

You know where I would like to be ?

me feet up with a G & T. 

Of creativity I’m a hive

I make friends’ poems come alive

I’m a Lovely and I’m Booming 

I see success for us is looming 

I’ll write us up, I do reviews,

now what’s the very latest news? 

Trisha Broomfield 2023

Wasn’t that such a terrific piece?! I will treasure that for the rest of my birthdays to come. And yes, watch out for us Booming Lovelies in 2024! 

Thanks for tuning in, Poetry Lovers, I will indeed see you next year!