At the End of Christmas Day

Hello Poetry Lovers

Welcome back to another Yuletide Special.

Today’s poem penned by the wonderful poet Heather Mary Sullivan still has the cynical theme running through these seasonal posts but it’s warm and hilarious.

See how many memories flood back for you. It certainly took me back. Read on

At the End of Christmas Day

Another Christmas over

The turkey bones are bare

The tree has shed its needles

And it’s looking rather bare!

Granny’s in her rocking chair

She’s singing cos she’s merry

A paper hat across her face

Cos she’s overdosed on sherry!

The Christmas pud was set ablaze

When we smothered it in brandy

Grandad’s telling dirty jokes

After drinking half a shandy!

There are no more pigs in blankets

The pringles have gone soft

Poor auntie Carol’s peed her pants

Always happens when she coughs!

The kids are watching top of the pops

To see who’s topped the charts

Dad keeps shifting in his chair

And wafting sprouty farts.

Someone’s hidden the remote control

There’s a huge queue for the loo

I took the dog out for a walk

And there’s tinsel in his poo!

We’ve opened all our presents

With oohs and aahs and smiles

I got jewellery, clothes and chocolates

And some ointment for my piles!

The mince pies have been eaten

My sisters on the gin

My bloke keeps scratching his balls like mad

How did he get glitter on his foreskin?

The cat’s come home now they’ve all gone

Curled up traumatised in her bed

So that’s another Christmas over

Where are the pills for my aching head?

Heather Mary Sullivan

Wasn’t that a terrific poem, PL’s. Thank you so much, Heather for conjuring up those memories.

Treat yourself to Heather’s hilarious collection

Contact me if you would like a copy, or the lady herself on Facebook.

Thanks for tuning in, PL’s. We’ll be back with more poetry Yuletide action real soon….

Yawntide

Hello Poetry Lovers

I know! I know! We’re still in November but I couldn’t resist sneaking a Yuletide piece in here.

Now, I’m sorry (or am I?) that its on the pessimistic side and I promise to write a more positive one shortly.

However, the older we get, the less magical Christmas becomes. Perhaps because we hark back to our childhood and the excitement of it all. It just becomes flat the older we get.

Anyway do read on.

Yawntide

Yuletide is coming and the nut roast is getting fat

intense Christmas shopping to get loads of tat

Buying edible bargains that won’t survive next Sunday

and obligatory chocolate coins that end up being thrown away

because let’s face it, they taste quite vile

but somehow you have to go that extra mile

Driving you to the kid’s Selection Box

while you dream of receiving designer frocks

The family leave half their Christmas dinner

while you wash up, you promise you’ll get thinner

Christmas night has a taste of the anti-climactic

But come the Boxing Day party, you’ll get paralytic

H Moulson 2025

Well, that was a bit on the miserable side, wasn’t it, PL’s. So please send in your own Yuletide pieces to eclipse this cynicism. Answers on a postcard please …..

Thanks for tuning in, Poetry Lovers. We’ll be back with more poetry action real soon….

Interview with Sarah Boyd


Hello Poetry Lovers

Welcome back to the Talk Show studio!

(Fierce applause)

Our special guest today is talented poet and runner up in this year’s Arts Richmond Poetry Competition, Sarah Boyd!!

(Rapturous applause)

Welcome to the show, Sarah.

Don’t mind Dobby there!

Pleasure to be here, Heather.

(Looks at Dobby nervously)

Pay no attention to Dobby’s growling. It’s a sign of affection (I think).

So Sarah, please fill us in on your background

I worked in magazine publishing for many years which included coming up with regular articles, so I’ve been involved in writing for a long time.

That’s a great background.

When did poetry become a part of your life?

At primary school I wrote an extremely long poem about Noah’s Ark, all in rhyming couplets, which I was very proud of. Sadly I can’t find a copy of it!

Nothing more until lockdown, when I started writing poems to avoid making banana bread and sourdough.

Then in 2024 I decided to apply for the MA Writing Poetry run by Poetry School and Newcastle University – it’s part-time over two years and I’m halfway through. It’s really enjoyable.

I’m so impressed with that, Sarah. It sounds a great course. And I wish you could find that poem.

Who were your biggest influences ?

As part of the MA we have to do a lot of reading so I’m influenced by whoever I happen to be studying at the time.

But I would say my poetry owes something to the work of Caroline Bird, Emily Berry, Selima Hill and the Martian poets of the 1970s and 80s. And to countless other poets.

Some wonderful poets mentioned there.

Are you working on anything at the moment?

Finishing my MA! I have at least 60 more poems to generate by next summer.  

I do hope to have a pamphlet or book of poems out eventually. Watch this space.

We can’t wait, Sarah.

So, what’s the best poetry gig you’ve ever done? And the Worst?!

My Poetry Performance gig this November, when I was featured poet, was probably the best.

My worst was when I was a last minute addition to a charity fundraiser.

On the night I found out I was the first act and the audience hadn’t had a chance to properly warm up with drinks.

The compere had told me what he’d say to introduce my poems, then he said something totally different which threw me.

I think most people were really there for the fund-raising raffle and the meal rather than poetry which was fair enough!

Oh these things are painful but they’re also a learning curve.

So happy your Poetry Performance feature was your best one. You were wonderful.

(Our esteemed guest gets her coat on)

You look in a hurry, Sarah. Aren’t we going to the Fallow Deer for a coffee?

(Our guest looks embarrassed)

I said she wouldn’t like it, Dobby! Let’s leg it quick! Dilly Orme’s waiting for us!

Oh don’t worry, I’m used to it by now.

I guess it’s the MaxPax vending machine for me again!

Wasn’t Sarah a wonderful guest, Poetry Lovers

(Vast Applause and standing ovation).

Thanks for visiting the Talk Show studio, PL’s. We’ll be back with more poetry action real soon…

Milk Bottle Tops

Hello Poetry Lovers

Today I have chosen to share with you this unique piece Milk Bottle Tops by talented poet Trisha Broomfield.

Not only is it upbeat with humorous traits, it also reflects on the turmoil and anguish that can be covered up by the everyday mundane tasks we do.

There is a very poignant side to this poem. Read on…..

Milk Bottle Tops

That’s all it took,

the indent of my thumb on the green foil top,

becoming yours on a full cream pint,

the kettle on the boil

the teapot warming,

you taking the creamy top of the milk

for your cornflakes,

me pulling a face

(school milk had a lot to answer for).

The echo of Radio 2,

Daily Mirror on the cold stove,

toast in perfect squares

marmalade spread spare,

and a break of eczema on the back of your hand,

the only sign of the turmoil within.

Trisha Broomfield

Wasn’t that a wonderful and vivid piece?! Thank you so much, Trisha. More please!!

Thanks for tuning in, PL’s. We’ll be back with more poetry adventures real soon….

Many a True Word

Hello Poetry Lovers

Today I would like to feature Sharron Green’s wonderful and painfully true piece about us all as poets. It’s humorous and extremely observational.

From her inspirational Willing Words collection, full of similar profound pieces, this is really worth a read – but beware of uncomfortable truths!!! Ouch!

Many A True Word

Never trust a poet,

they are wearing a disguise,

you might think they are listening

but they are plotting lies.

Like magpies they are spying gems

that others haven’t spotted,

just watch and they will swipe them

and soon they’ll be re-potted.

You’ll think – where did that come from?

It sounds so fresh and new!

But someone else inspired it,

it could even be you!

So never trust a poet

they are at least two-faced,

though their work is eco friendly

as no word goes to waste.

rhymes n roses 2024

Wasn’t that such a revealing piece about us?! Thank you, Sharron. More please.

Do visit Sharron’s magical website for more poetry and books. Treat yourselves.

http://rhymesnroses.com

Thanks for tuning in, PL’s. We’ll be back with more poetry action real soon….

Remembering Carla…

Hello Poetry Lovers

Today I would like to remember Carla Scarano.

A lovely vibrant Italian poet who brought so much to the poetry community, Carla left us very quickly in 2023. A very prolific poet, she gave us a legacy of wonderful poetry.

I particularly loved her pieces on cooking which shared food and relationships in one delicious pot.

This is one of my favourites.

Parsley

The fringed leaves look like shredded shamrocks

packed in plastic bags from the supermarket,

its freshness fades in the fridge

better to let the stem drink in a glass of water

to last longer, give it a chance to survive

before you chop or tear it to pieces

to season fish, mushrooms or boil in ragu;

its flavour warms the evening light

when the shadows grow deep and we sit

our faces over the steaming soup

talking about the day

how did it go, any news?

C Scarano

What a lovely personal piece. There you are, just a little tribute. You’re gone but never forgotten, Carla.

Thanks for tuning in, PL’s. We’ll be back with more poetry action real soon

Dancing in Quicksand

Hello Poetry Lovers

Well, we’re on the tip of Halloween and I’d like to feature Sharron Green’s very striking piece Dancing in Quicksand.

As well as its nightmarish tones, there are twists of other emotions too, making it a very clever poem. Do read on for this atmospheric piece

Dancing in Quicksand

Aeons ago we came to the ball,
a nightmare from which there’s no leaving.
Like a stuck record we spin in a groove,
so dizzy now that we’re heaving.

The ballroom once splendid is tarnished,
the crystal and gold have been scuffed,
in our finest we stood, eating all that we could,
and now it’s all gone we are stuffed.

The band plays a Titanic medley
as chairs round the dance floor swap places,
the ballgowns bob In the bubbling mud
as we stare at the horrified faces.

What we need is a fairy godmother,
to whisk us back with a gaze so adoring,
to the days when our planet was healthy,
and our politics simple and boring.

@rhymes _n_roses

Wasn’t that a wonderful and relevant piece?! Thank you so much, Sharron. More please…

Thanks for tuning in, Poetry Lovers. We’ll be back with more action real soon….

Homage to Brian Patten

Hello Poetry Lovers

We were all so sorry to hear of Brian Patten’s passing. An incredibly vibrant and intelligent poet of that wonderful Merseybeat generation. A real voice from Liverpool.

It was Patten’s children’s collection Gargling with Jelly that I loved and knew best, and I have put two of his pieces from that book on here. They’re Halloween related so quite fitting.

Please read on

The Witch’s Pickle

Have you ever tried to tickle

A witch’s pickle in the dark,

And tried to make it giggle

And scream: ‘What a lark!’?

That’s exactly what I did

So I think you’d better not

‘Cause now I’m truly pickled

And in the witch’s pot!

B Patten

The Frogologist

I hate it when grown-ups say,

‘What do you want to be?’

I hate the way they stand up there

And talk down to me.

I say:

‘I want to be a frogologist

And study the lives of frogs,

I want to know their habitat

And crawl about in bogs,

I want to learn to croak and jump

And catch flies with my tongue

And will they please excuse me ‘cause

Frogologists start quite young.’

B Patten

Thank you for leaving us such a legacy, Mr Patten.

Thank you for tuning in, PL’s. We’ll be back with more Halloween action real soon….

Interview with Dennis Tomlinson

Hello Poetry Lovers

Welcome back to the Poetry Talk Show Studio. (Ecstatic applause)

Yes, you should be excited! Because our special guest today is talented and prolific poet Dennis Tomlinson!

(Standing ovation as our tattooed and esteemed guest glides elegantly down the stairs)

Welcome to the show, Dennis.

Vibrant tattoos there! You’re looking good.

Why don’t you fill us in on your background?

Pleased to be here, Heather. Er – can you stop Dobby from growling at me?

As soon as I could write I produced little books of poems in childish imitation of Lewis Carroll and Hilaire Belloc.

I dabbled in poetry at school and university but I didn’t make up my mind to become a Poet until 2006. That’s when I joined the Poetry ID group in Letchworth, Hertfordshire, who hold weekly workshops where you’re encouraged to write on the spot.

Since then poetry has become an essential part of my life, both as a writer and as a reader. My principal motivation is still to record experiences and memories that would otherwise disappear into oblivion.

That may be a little hard to do, Dennis. The truth is she HATES tattoos!

Lewis Carroll’s hand drawn story books in the British Library inspired me to draw my Dobby cartoons! Incredibly clever man, wasn’t he.

That’s a great poetry background, who were your biggest influences?

My English teacher introduced me to Robert Frost, whose every poem tells a story, and Philip Larkin, who expressed harsh truths in lyrical verse. They’re still working away in my brain.

Reading and writing haiku has often helped me to pare language down to the essential in short lines. I quote the master Matsuo Basho from the 17th century, as translated by RH Blyth:

   Ah! Summer grasses!

   All that remains

   Of the warriors’ dreams

I have also gained a lot from personal acquaintance; Yuko Minamikawa Adams (of Poetry ID) has influenced me with her startling, surreal combinations of images.

She sounded a great and wonderful find, Dennis. I will look out for her.

Yes, teachers can shape our lives, can’t they.

Are you working on anything at the moment?

No. In the spring I self-published The Alexandra, a collection with a running theme of pubs and bars and a tribute to my late father Tony Tomlinson, a talented poet himself.

If you’d like a copy, you can contact me through my page at http://www.poetrypf.co.uk/dennistomlinsonpage.shtml

I compose one or two poems every month but I have no big project at the moment.

Oh yes please! I’d love one. Wouldn’t You, Poetry Lovers?

(Audience cheer in agreement)

Now, what’s the best poetry gig you’ve ever done?

My best experience was maybe at the Grey Horse, Kingston upon Thames in March 2024. The young ladies who run the Homely Poetry night had invited me to read as the featured poet.

I presented a selection of my poems and showed the Nymph tattoo on my shoulder, taken from the cover image of my book Ornaments. 

I got plenty of applause, laughter, a £15 fee and a sense of satisfaction. Be grateful for small mercies!

And the Worst ??

I’ve never had a really bad experience, just weak clapping or awkward silences.

But when I took part in a night with two Poetry Society groups (‘Stanza Bonanza’) at the Poetry Cafe a few years back, I included what I thought was a light-hearted reference to a contemporary Chinese poet. But a friend exploded with a passionate rant about ‘racism’ and ‘Western imperialism’. You have to be aware of people’s sensitivities!

Oh that sounded very explosive, Dennis. What a learning curve!

So where you off to tonight? Not another tattoo parlour, I hope!!

Actually, Heather, I might make a run for it while Dobby’s not around! She might want to remove my tattoos herself!

So wise, Dennis. I hope you make it home with tattoos intact!

Creep quietly up those stairs now

(Our enigmatic guest legs it up the stairs followed by screams of pain! )

Whoops! A brave attempt, Dennis but Dobby will always get you.

(Our host can’t bear to hear such agony and puts her hands over her ears.)

Wasn’t Dennis Tomlinson a fascinating and wonderful guest, PL’s?!

(Cheers of agreement and a standing ovation).

Please check out Dennis’ website above for a real poetry treat.

Thanks for attending the Talk Show Studio, PL’s. We’ll be back with more poetry action real soon…