Life had not been too good to Hamish, since he’d been booted out of Vicar college
He took to dossing outside the Amanda Ann family home – where he’d once been so wanted
On the side, Mrs Slagg and Mary slipped him a cake or two
Marjorie saw them, but said nothing
Then one day, she confronted him herself:
“Good morning, Hamish. How are you?”
“Jings lassie! You’re not gonna kick me in the marriage furniture again, are you?!”
“Oh, I do feel bad about that”, Marjorie demurred, “Lets get you cleaned up, and er- talk about old times.”
And as he bathed his toned body clean, Marjorie plied him with their best wine
“ai think I’m a bit too sozzled, Hen, for any love action!”
“Yes,” Marjorie said, “We’ll get you to bed – to sleep, that is”
Later on, Marjorie sent Mary to Superdrug, Lavinia to a sleepover and Mrs Slagg to Saw 3 at the multiplex.
Paul tied up at the studio with his Pilot show, the two “wives” were alone in the house. Krista crept around nervously:
“Oh, do join me for afternoon tea, Krista my dear” Marjorie called after the jumpy Swede
“Oh, that would be so nice, Marjorie. I’ve longed to talk to you. You see, Paul really can love us both”
“Yes”, Marjorie smiled tightly, “now do drink your tea.”
After one cup, Krista suddenly felt sleepy.
“You look tired, my dear.” Marjorie said, “Do go up to my bed and have a lie-down. It’s not like you haven’t been on it before!”
Krista groggily thanked her, and headed for the master bedroom.
Marjorie quickly threw the rest of the sleeping draught into the fish tank. Then waited patiently for her husband to come home.
“What-ho, Marjorie! What a swine of a day! It’s not easy all that television nonsense!”
“Er – where’s Krista?”
“The poor lamb was so tired. I sent her upstairs for a lie-down”
“That’s the spirit, Marjorie, I knew you’d get the hang of this polygamy thing.”
But Paul was in for a shock!
“Oh my God!”
Krista woke up groggily, and found herself next to an unconcious Hamish
“Paul, my darling, I can explain….”
“Oh God! Why him ?”
Paul had taken this very badly indeed
Marjorie sat at the foot of the stairs, cackling to herself. Any minute, she’d see that bitch’s suitcase come down the stairs
And she did, but Paul was alongside it!
“Marjorie! Krista told me how you tricked her! How could you?!”
Bugger, Marjorie thought, the honey-voiced Swede had obviously talked him round.
“Well, you got your way! Krista is leaving!