Mary was not pleased to see the father of her children lounging around like Lord Muck in her employer’s home.
“Ai say, servant!”, he began, “Some Vienetta if you please”
“Shut yer cake’ole! You sound ridiculous!”
“I’m posh now, don’t you know – what? Gonna marry the daugther (when she’s 18)”
Mary ignored the last comment.
“And I don’t suppose it’s occurred to you to visit your children at the local borstal!
Some father you are! And now, you’re about to start another one!”
“Naw!”, the young man explained, “She just said that to piss off ‘er old man. Matter of fact, she’s on the Blob, and gone out wiv ‘er mum to get Tampax and that”
“So,” Melvin leered, “Why don’t we get ourselves up those old stairs? That’s wot toffs do, don’t they? They shag the servants. It’s their right and that.”
“Oh, Master Melvin! Were they YOUR balls I just put my knee in?! An’ have some fuckin’ cake while you’re at it!”
The young gun crawled in agony through the house. “I’ll have you sacked, my girl! Pack yer bags this instant!”
“Bollocks!”, Mary replied.
Melvin found his potential father-in-law, and explained about the servant’s insubordination.
Paul sneered. “Oh, you mean the mother of your children. Now do be quiet, man, Breaking Bad is about to start”
“Breaking Bad? I LOVE Breaking Bad, me. I mean, Yo!”
“Extraordinary! Yes, it’s about two chaps cooking or something. Are they about to open a restuarant then?”
Heather Moulson 