THE AMANDA ANN FAMILY SHOW – SERIES FIVE

PART ONE:  “Hand transplant went very badly, I’m afraid” “And apparently, I collapsed in front of the servants:” “Oooh!  Master Paul!”, they cried (hysterically)  “My Lavinia rang for an ambulance – eventually.”  “And I was ordered complete bed rest…”  “Marjorie’s blue eyes became misty with concern:‘Where is the Will, Paul?  You have made one, haven’tContinue reading “THE AMANDA ANN FAMILY SHOW – SERIES FIVE”

The Amanda Ann Family Show Spring Special 2014

“What-ho!  Spring is here!  Happy Easter and all that.  Looking forward to spending some time with the old family – what???” However…..  I greet Mary cordially:“Planning to do the old Easter Egg hunt with your chap, Wilfred?  (From the Beano).  What!”Unfortunately, Mary had a huge hangover from the church do the night before:“Fuck off!”, sheContinue reading “The Amanda Ann Family Show Spring Special 2014”

The Amanda Ann Family Christmas Special

Our hero, in the small hours of Christmas morning, is complaining:  “What a load of old shit this Christmas business is!”, he muttered.  “What with Mrs Slagg announcing our engagement to all and sundry, and that bore Madonna joining us for a real British Christmas!” Things were looking grim for the old man.  Though theContinue reading “The Amanda Ann Family Christmas Special”

The Amanda Ann Family Show part Seven

Well, Melvin walked out of our lives as quickly as he walked in…  Or slumped out, rather… And Poshie has a new filly, a mature, if fading, pop cum movie star.  We’re talking about a spot on my TV show.  Well, we’ll see…. Meanwhile Lav’s moved her lesbian lover in.  Stroppy old thing.  Quite militant. Continue reading “The Amanda Ann Family Show part Seven”

The Amanda Ann Family Show part six

  “Oh, hello there, Poshie”, the strange couple said. “Well, m’boy,” Lord Posh addressed Melvin, “Can you explain yourself?” “Ummm…”, said the young gun, backing into the wall. “Perhaps you’d like to start by explaining to the Amanda Ann’s the exact name of the Borstal you attended?!”  “Umm…. Eton.”, the youth muttered  “Oh, spiffing!”, I chimedContinue reading “The Amanda Ann Family Show part six”

The Amanda Ann Family Show Part Five

That night, in his luxurious Mayfair flat, Lord Posh slept fitfully.  Where had he seen that boundah Melvin before? Stumbling down to breakfast, it suddenly came to him – yes, of course!! Before Lord Posh could  burst into the Amanda Ann household unannounced, Melvin and Paul were having intense Breaking Bad talk.  The elder ofContinue reading “The Amanda Ann Family Show Part Five”

The Amanda Ann Family Show – Part Four

Mary was not pleased to see the father of her children lounging around like Lord Muck in her employer’s home.   “Ai say, servant!”, he began, “Some Vienetta if you please”  “Shut yer cake’ole!  You sound ridiculous!”“I’m posh now, don’t you know – what? Gonna marry the daugther (when she’s 18)” Mary ignored the last comment.  Continue reading “The Amanda Ann Family Show – Part Four”

The Amanda Ann Family show part Three

“Who the hell painted these bannister’s pink?!”  I was not in the best frame of mind.    I tried to kick the cat (but without success) My wife sighed impatiently: “We chose the colour together, Paul.  For God’s sake, we’re all worried about Lavinia, don’t take it out on us!”    “Now, why don’t youContinue reading “The Amanda Ann Family show part Three”