Author Archives: heathermoulson

Part One:“Oh no!!!  Daphne!!!” “Oh my Good God!  Who could have done such a terrible thing?!” Our Hero exclaims, upon discovering the body:“We must act quickly, Marjorie! …. Ummm Marjorie..?”“Hic!”  The elegant Lady of the House replied: Paul turned to his cherished daughter, Lavinia:“For Gods sake, Lavinia!  Phone the Police – now!!” “Oh for fuck’sContinue reading “The Amanda Ann Family Film Noir”

Christmas is upon us once again, as we enjoy a sumptuous lunch. It all being a rather quieter affair this year.  Lord Posh popping round later, and The Slaggs away on their honeymoon: The old fool said “yes” at last.  (Chuckle)  Marjorie, naturally, was dissatisfied at her generous array of presents:  After all the troubleContinue reading “The Amanda Ann Family Show Christmas Special”

At first, it wasn’t easy for any of us.  I was so stunned that someone so vile could give me something so precious.Marjorie was just simply stunned. Traumatised by the Nit Nurse (who gave him the thumbs up!), Alfie would sob on his bed for hours.  And I knew the little tyke was secretly skypingContinue reading “PART EIGHT”

“But…”, spluttered Marjorie, breaking the life-changing silence, “You said he was Louis Walsh’s!”  “Hah!,” Davina spat, “And the poor sap fell for it too!  But now I’ve spent all the hush money, I can stop pretending!” “Davina!  You are a liar!”, I croaked, not daring to look at Marjorie’s stricken face.  “Just take a lookContinue reading “PART SEVEN”

“Good God!  Davina!  How could you?!”, Marjorie gasped: “Basil and I are in love, Marjorie”, Davina announced.  “You may have been a plaything to him, but I’m certainly not!  – isn’t that right, Basil?!” “zzzzzz…”, her lover replied.  So it was a grim old affair when Davina packed her case, and came to sneer GoodbyeContinue reading “PART SIX”

“You know, you’re really asking for trouble”, I told Davina, one quiet and dusty afternoon, “Marjorie sees you with Basil (the bastard), she’ll have you out on your ear!” “Then we’ll leave together, eh?  Little Cuz!  Once I spill the beans about us !” “There is no “US”, Davina!”, I tried to implore her. ButContinue reading “PART FIVE”

You see, Davina has become bitter and twisted over the years:  She has always aimed to be a Star, but time was running out for her. In the past, she had been a sensation on screen and stage  And worked with many of the Greats.  And was a regular starlet on all the iconic BondContinue reading “PART FOUR”

I can’t help but be rude to cousin Davina and her nit-ridden son: “Are you coming to stay, Davina?  Or are you moving in – again?”“Paul!”, Marjorie hissed.   Although there was no love lost between her cousin and herself, one must never be rude in polite society.   In fairness, Davina gave back as goodContinue reading “PART THREE”

Sadly, Running River proved to be barren.  There would be no heir to succeed the Big Chief.  Reluctant to replace his plucky young squaw, he looks on Facebook and see’s Marjorie’s announcement of her first son:  Big Chief knew the parentage of the half-paleface, and recognised his own son when he saw him.   HeContinue reading “PART TWO:”

PART ONE:  “Hand transplant went very badly, I’m afraid” “And apparently, I collapsed in front of the servants:” “Oooh!  Master Paul!”, they cried (hysterically)  “My Lavinia rang for an ambulance – eventually.”  “And I was ordered complete bed rest…”  “Marjorie’s blue eyes became misty with concern:‘Where is the Will, Paul?  You have made one, haven’tContinue reading “THE AMANDA ANN FAMILY SHOW – SERIES FIVE”