Yes, I was bracing myself for that! My worst one was back in 1996, at a poetry night called The Hard Edge Club, which had run for much of the 80s in Soho and, after a lengthy hiatus, was being revived. Two of the organisers, Tim Wells and Joe Cairo, came along to the open-mic event Poetry Unplugged and, picking out the best performers, asked those people perform at their re-launch. I was there, but wasn’t singled out, but I still went along, and as it turned out, none of the people they’d picked had turned up. So there I was, the only poet – abiet someone who’d invited himself – and though I was painfully shy, with little charisma and my poems a little half-formed, Joe and Tim agreed, on account of me being the only person to turn up to the relaunch, to give me my first paid gig the following week for what would now be the relaunch of the relaunch.
Well, that first paid gig went okay, and I went along a few more times as an open-micer as audiences picked up, and Tim gave me a second paid spot. However, I decided this time, to try to be like the performance poets who dominated proceedings and memorise all my poems and think of lots of things to say in between them. On the night I just couldn’t do it – I froze on stage, forgot my lines, and started talking gibberish – I just didn’t have the temperament, or the necessary talent, at the time to cut in on what was fast turning out to be a raucous take-no-prisoners event, where some of the people who’d end up becoming well-known performance poets in years to come were starting to make their names (that year, even John Cooper Clarke appeared there, at the start of what was to be a successful comeback). But sometimes biting off more than you can chew – and in the process, making a prat of yourself – can lead to good things.
Already, by that point, Tim had published me in the latest issue of his new magazine Rising, and though I no longer went to The Hard Edge Club, whenever I sent Tim poems, he always wrote back with cheery friendly letters and published me four times in total, which really helped me to keep going through lean times in terms of the writing, and also means I can now say I was featured in what has become a legendary mag that had published early poems by spoken word legends such as Salena Godden, Nathan Penlington and Francesca Beard – but poems by the great Doctor John Cooper Clarke as well. So that definitely was a silver lining, and it’s always nice to end the worst on a happy note!