Loathe as I am to hark back to last year, I must share with you my night out at the captivating Torriano House. As the song by Murray Head goes – One Night in Kentish Town makes the hard man humble … something like that anyway.
It was a real birthday treat on Sunday 4th December to be invited by the magical Wendy Young to perform at this esteemed venue where many wonderful poets have read…
It was a joy to meet the marvellous Pauline Seawards who organises unforgettable nights like this. Pauline performed her classy poems beautifully. Her new collection This is the Band is breathtaking.
Now, I’ve made this small room look very occupied, proving that the camera actually does lie. As there were a total of 8 of us altogether. 3 people were the actual audience – ie friends of mine that I had brought with me! What a birthday party for them! Chinese takeaway next year, I promise!
I am so blessed to have such dear and loyal pals. This is Mary, Heidi, moi and Mary. What would I do without them?! I didn’t realise at the time that they would be the entire audience! Lordy! Still, a cold Sunday night in December is a very daunting prospect indeed, even for the very local. Thank you so much for your support, my lovely chums.
The real advantage of having a very small turnout is that my wonderful and talented hero Barney Ashton Bullock could take the floor with the open mic section. His unique collection Cul-De-Sacrilege! could be aired without restraint. I was so thrilled to have him there.
And speaking of heroes, it was an honour to perform alongside the fabulous Wendy Young. Performing such clever poetry such as Millie. I also loved her look – very Eartha Kitt!
I was on before Wendy, natch. And I hope I did my best. One of my pals doesn’t like swearing – oh dear………
Such a thrill and honour to be among these wonderful poets. An unforgettable evening. Also thanks to Sue who let us in early, and for her valuable support. Something you cannot buy. Thank you, Sue.
After a quite frankly, grim birthday tea for my pals – sandwich, crisps and wine on paper plates – I drove us all home, tired, cold but elated. I hope to return there one day.
Do not miss these amazing and clever collections by such talented poets….
Thanks for tuning into this memorable experience, PL’s. We’ll be back with more poetry action real soon……
For this post, I could not resist Sharron Green’s exquisite piece on something I’m confident we’re all guilty of. Also illustrating lacy underwear is so so alluring and reeks of glamour.
Sharron’s poem is so clever and true, haven’t we all got a treasured yet very unused item like this?! Do read on, it’s a terrific piece. Thank you so much, Sharron
Satin Secret
I am the g-string in your drawer, the one you haven’t worn before.
You thought I was a great idea, but I am less than I appear. My lacy bits are super scratchy and there’s no bra that’s matchy-matchy.
I was a target that you set, but you haven’t reached it yet, and let’s be honest, it’s unlikely
that you’ll ever squeeze in me. So why must I be the recluse? With bloomers all in daily use?
Ok I don’t take up much room, but I feel wasted in the gloom.
I sparkle when your eyes are drawn to my sexy, red hot, date-night form,
and that’s why I’m destined to be your alternative reality.
@rhymes_n_roses
Oh yes, those last two words really sum it up. Think I’ll head for my drawers (if you see what I mean) and name and shame those unused little items. Well done, Sharron. Lovely piece. Please keep them coming.
Do look at Sharron’s beautiful website for more wonderful pieces –
Welcome back to our studio where today our esteemed guest is the wonderful poet Alan Gregory (Rapturous Applause)
Thank you so much for coming on the show, Alan. I have to say, I adore your white suit. I expect you’re going up the disco with John Travolta later
I certainly am, Heather. So I can’t be too long. Thank you for having me on the show
Pleasure. I’d really watch out for those high stacked shoes though. Funny, I was watching Saturday Night Fever recently, how come he doesn’t get a single mark on that white suit?!
Anyway, Alan, why don’t you tell us about yourself?
I have Aspergers. Nowadays persons are spotted in junior school or early teens. I went through my whole life suffering the effects in ignorance until six years ago when my eldest daughter said, ‘You are classic Aspergers’ Eventually I was confirmed to be neurologically diverse as it is now called and I have come to view it as a strength rather than a disability. The understanding was timely as in later life, the effects become more pronounced.
Well, Alan, I would agree with you. It really is a strength. I’m so glad we are more aware of Asperger’s now.
When did poetry become part of your life?
Aged 14 there was a class assignment to write a poem. I did mine then wrote three more for others. Got in trouble for that.
I wrote loads of rhymes which I didn’t keep but when I was 22, I penned ‘Sleep, Sweet Sleep’ which is on my Instagram page now. Although you would have to go back a bit to see it. (@truculentbutamiable)
Love it, Alan. I remember doing an essay for someone in my class once and got in hot water! Not worth it, is it. So you’ve been writing quite a while.
Who are your biggest influences?
At school we studied the Victorian era poets but I focused on S. T. Coleridge. I bought a book of his work and spent many lunch breaks reading poems. After school, over the years I read all sorts including T. E. Brown, a Manx poet who wrote wonderful narrative poems about real people.
Marriage ended the research but not the writing. There were no more influencing poets but I read all Douglas Adams’ books and Terry Pratchett who motivated me to get back to writing.
Terrific writers and influences, Alan. Our creativity does always return to us, doesn’t it. Are you working on anything at the moment ?
Yes, a new Spike and Ribbit story. I also have three unfinished stories waiting to get done one of these days.
Excellent, I’m so glad we’ve come to this unique pair. For the uninitiated, Alan writes marvellous and unique pieces on the deep friendship between a hedgehog and a toad. Spike and Ribbit. A likeable pair who share life experiences such as droughts, and going on holiday. Hazards and simple pleasures. They are absolutely wonderful.
I have the absolute honour of putting their moon adventure on here.
What do you think is your best reading?
I don’t read my own work because my glitchy brain tends to remember earlier versions and it makes me lose fluency or even as I read, I’m thinking of better ways to say things or perhaps a better word. I prefer to write and make changes until I am satisfied with it and then let others read it.
Wonderful, Alan. It’s been fantastic chatting to you and gaining such insight.
Please forgive my amateur toad and hedgehog but I’ve illustrated your very clever piece here.
Please read the following poem, Poetry Lovers, it’s excellent.
Alan Gregory is on Instagram under @truculentbutamiable. Really worth a look.
Thank you so much for coming on the show, Alan. Now, don’t keep John Travolta waiting….(audience applaud ecstatically – standing ovation)
Spike and Ribbit go to the Moon
THE MOON WAS FULL AND THE SKY WAS CLEAR
THE MOON LOOKED DOWN AND HIS FACE LOOKED BACK.
HE WANTED TO SMILE BUT OF COURSE HE CAN’T
SO HE TOOK A SELFIE, FOR HE HAD THE KNACK.
SPIKE AND RIBBIT WERE LOOKING AT THE MOON
THEY WANTED TO GIVE EXPLORATION A TRY
BUT SPIKE FELT THAT HE WAS UNABLE TO GO
‘I’M SORRY TO TELL YOU BUT HEDGEHOGS CAN’T FLY.’
‘BUT YOU DON’T NEED TO FLY’ SAID RIBBIT
THERE ARE TWO MOONS, IT’S NOT A MISTAKE.
THERE IS ONE IN THE SKY THAT YOU FLY TO
AND ONE OVER THERE IN THE LAKE’
‘WE JUST GET THE BOAT AND WE ROW THERE,
WE WILL BE THE FIRST TO EXPLORE.
THEN WE’LL CELEBRATE THERE WITH A PICNIC
BECAUSE NO-BODY DID THAT BEFORE.’
SO THEY SET OFF UPON THEIR ADVENTURE,
SPIKE ROWING, WHILE IN RIBBIT’S GRIP
HE FIRMLY HELD THE LONG BOW ROPE
TO LAND AND THEN TIE UP THE SHIP.
THEY ARRIVED AT THE MOON WITHOUT TROUBLE
RIBBIT DREW IN HIS BREATH FOR THE DASH.
SPIKE SHUT HIS EYES, BEING FEARFUL,
SO ALL THAT HE HEARD WAS A SPLASH.
WHEN HE LOOKED THE MOON WAS ALL BROKEN
AND THERE WAS NO SIGN OF RIBBIT AROUND.
THEIR TRIP HAD BECOME A DISASTER
AND POSSIBLY RIBBIT HAD DROWNED.
THEN RIBBIT CLIMBED BACK UP THE BOW ROPE
AND STOOD, CLEARLY SHOOK TO THE CORE.
‘ I THINK WE’D BETTER LEAVE QUICKLY,’ HE SAID
‘AND GET OURSELVES BACK TO THE SHORE.’
BUT REALLY THEY NEEDN’T HAVE WORRIED,
BY THE TIME THAT THEY ROWED TO THE BEACH
THE MOON HAD MENDED ITSELF ONCE AGAIN
AND IN FUTURE WOULD STAY OUT OF REACH.
SPIKE AND RIBBIT LAY ON THE GRASS
WITH THE PICNIC THEY FORTUITOUSLY BROUGHT
RIBBIT SAID, ‘THE REASON THE MOON BROKE,
IT’S MUCH THINNER THAN ANYONE THOUGHT.
THERE’S NO WAY A MAN CAN GO TO THE MOON,
THEY WILL HAVE TO ABANDON THAT PLAN.
IF THE MOON CAN’T STAND THE WEIGHT OF A TOAD,
WHAT CHANCE COULD THERE BE FOR A MAN?’
Written by A.Gregory 09/08/2018.
Thanks for tuning in, PL’s. Wasn’t Alan a wonderful guest?! We’ll be back with more poetry adventures real soon……
I have decided to celebrate this bittersweet occasion at the Slagg’s Cafe.
New Years Eve seems so limp the week after Christmas. The Christmas tree flagging and forgotten, like the solitary remains of Christmas pud. So who better to bring cheer than the Slaggs?!
Mrs Slagg has especially penned a New Year Triolet for us. Pay attention:
Another New Year
We have yet another New Years Eve
We’re busy ringing in a New Year
Would wishing for a better one be naïve?
We have yet another New Years Eve
Mr Slagg spills drink over his sleeve!
He’s now demanding another beer.
We have yet another New Years Eve
We’re busy ringing in a New Year
Tarantella Slagg 2022
Top poem, Mrs Slagg. A big round of applause for that one.
Now everyone order more pizza and pie and light up, and we’ll hear Mr Slagg’s mother do her enlightened New Year piece.
A new year is akin to a young shrub
Can I stop now and go down the pub?
Ring out the old, ring in the new
Is that enough? I need the loo
Mrs Slagg Senior 2022
So do I, Mrs Slagg snr. Lordy! It’s nearly 9.30 – time I was tucked up in bed. I’ll just pay the bill and….how much??!!
Happy New Year to you, PL’s. Thanks for tuning in. We’ll be back with more poetry action next year(!)
Well, the countdown has truly begun and Christmas Day is in less than a week. I have a seasonal, if cynical triolet here.
I wrote about all four seasons recently but I’ll just feature the most relevant one. There’ll be one more post before Christmas, so watch this space. Read on if you dare;
Christmas Triolet
Christmas conflicts ring loud and bright
For numerous relatives and wives
Anticipating at least one family fight
Christmas conflicts ring loud and bright
stingy presents from aunts so tight
Who’ve been resentful all their lives
Christmas conflicts ring loud and bright
For numerous relatives and wives
H Moulson 2022
Thanks for tuning in, PL’s, and I hope you liked the piece. Eyes peeled for a Christmas Eve post……
How are your Christmas plans going? (What do you mean, is it Christmas?!).
We rush about getting ready for what really is one day – Boxing Day now succumbed to early January sales – but do we really think about the day itself?
Lovely and talented poet Trisha Broomfield certainly has and has summed it up succinctly in this terrifically detailed piece.
An alphabet poem too – one of my favourite forms. Do read on, this could be uncomfortable reading for most of us. Fantastic piece;
Activities you don’t enjoy, or do?
Brussel sprouts, yum or yuk,
Cat attempts to climb the tree,
Dropping needles, broken lights.
Easy on the Bailey’s Gran!
Festooned rooms and red balloons,
Gargantuan portions, of above mentioned sprouts.
Heavy stomachs and sighs.
Incredible inedibles from pop up shops.
Jesus mentioned in passing.
Kisses, mistletoe or not
Love, written mainly on cards.
Most of us exhausted,
No one listening
Only The Lonely, by Roy.
Panic for just one day.
Quarrels inevitable,
Resultant huffy teens.
Snoring granddads.
Telly a trial, not just a bushtucker one.
Underwear wished for doesn’t fit.
Victory on the Monopoly board, (I’m the top hat).
Wishing it over, wishing it longer.
Xmas, hate that word.
Yearnings for loves lost since last year.
Z beds pulled out for nephews.
02/12/2022Trisha Broomfield
Wasn’t that just a terrific piece. So true and poignant – and I get the sneakiest feeling we wouldn’t change any of it.
Thank you so much Trisha, please keep them coming.
Thanks for tuning in, PL’s. Any poems summing that big day are welcome. Answers on a postcard to the usual address….we’ll be back real soon.
Now you may think this is an unusual title but it really is a more commonplace term than you realise. Highlighting the most frustrating side of those Yuletide preparations, and clever poet Sharron Green has summed this up nicely in this beautiful piece.
Amusing and painfully relevant to us this coming advent, do read it. Super piece ;
Gift Gaffe
Sellotape and wrapping paper One the glue the other draper Send me on a merry caper Every Christmas Eve
Sellotape is always hiding Often stunted, never gliding Won’t respond to threats or chiding Highly prone to cleave
Wrapping paper does my head in Sometimes gifts won’t be seen dead in Shapes that gape they look unfed in Shame you won’t believe
So it’s just as well this season Poor performance isn’t treason Saving paper is the reason There’s wrapping reprieve.
@rhymes_n_roses
Wasn’t that just a wonderful piece?! Thank you so much, Sharron. Please keep them coming. This is Sharron’s website if you wanted to see more of her wonderful work;
Yes, Christmas is around the corner and I have thrown myself fully into Yuletide.
For a start, I have written a triolet on Christmas – the dark side of the season anyway. This can be a stagnant period of tension and many family rows occur over this season. I have tried to capture that. Followed by a Christmas alphabet poem which I had to struggle with.
Anyway, do read on:
Christmas Triolet
Christmas conflicts ring loud and bright
For numerous relatives and wives
Anticipating at least one family fight
Christmas conflicts ring loud and bright
Stingy presents from aunts so tight
Who’ve been resentful all their lives
Christmas conflicts ring loud and bright
For numerous relatives and wives
Christmas Alphabet
Angels/Blitzen/Comet/Dasher/Ecclesiastical/
Festive/Gabriel/Holly/Ivy/Jesus/Kindness/
Lights/Merry/Nativity/Occasion/Prancer/
Quality(Street)/Rudolph/Star/Tinsel/
Unwrapping/Vixen/Wise(Men)/Xmas/Yuletide/Zion
Thanks for looking in, PL’s. I have to say that last one was hard but I know some of you have really bang up versions of the above form, so answers on a postcard please to the usual address……
aka rhymes_n_roses has summed this up so beautifully. I hope that I have sketched it justifiably. 
Heather Moulson 